Addison: Constantly complaining of how she looked, what she had to wear, how her hair was fixed, the fact that I wouldn't let her wear makeup, she was not going to smile, only way she would go is if we just took one picture, etc. Constantly asking for food, chocolate, cookies, etc
Trey: Hanging out in his undies on the couch while being told repeatedly to get dressed. Then realizing the reason he wasn't getting dressed was because ALL of his shorts were in the washing machine. Dry his shorts slightly and then tell him to suck it up and pretend they are swim trunks.
Me: Stressing over my hair and the fact that it's not my favorite right now, not sure what pants to wear, if I wear jeggings will people call me one of those people who wears tights for pants, what if I accidentally turn to my bad side, etc.....
J. O.: Oblivious to it all. At one point he gives Addison a bowl of milk and Cheerios and she promptly spills it down her dress. He sees nothing wrong.
Little girls: Fussing, whining, but unfortunately there was no time to care.
Then, we met Maddie and we threatened our kids within every inch of their life. Smile and act happy or I will spank you. Yes, yes I did say that. The camera came out and this is what we got.....
In church, this month we are talking about veneers and how we love to paint the best picture possible to everyone around us. Now, I honestly try very hard to be real but I know I still struggle. I am a sarcastic person by nature, so most of my posts on Facebook have no problem showing real life. But, how often do we paint this glorious picture and then the first opportunity we have, we complain to any and everyone who will listen.
For instance, and I will call myself out,....if you saw my glorious, happy picture of the 4 of us sitting on the couch waiting on Girl Meets World to start, we looked cute and happy. And I like to think we are. However, you know what happened as soon as I clicked the button on the phone and snapped the photo? J. O. went back to his section of the couch, I told the kids they were killing me to please scoot over, and meltdown city ensued and we pushed record on the tv and put everyone to bed before the show started. Real life.
Fostering is so much of the same way. I feel like we, as foster parents, feel the need to be so driven to the call that we never want to complain. We don't want to make it sound too hard or too realistic, because we may keep someone from doing it. We want to shoulder the burden on our own because that's what we are called to do. However, that's not the way it should be. That's not real. If you could peel away the top layer of our veneer it would say vulnerable, scared, and anxious. It would say guilt at not being able to take another child, it would say pain when a friend calls and is so tired and weary and you just want to be able to help. It would say overwhelmed and tired.
But it would also say blessed. It would say grateful. It would say amazed at how we ourselves are learning so much from these precious children. It would say worth it and we would mean it Every. Single. Time.
Life isn't perfect and won't be this side of Heaven. It's actually promised to be hard. However, the most important thing is to have a purpose and glorify God while doing it. And trust me, it doesn't have to look perfect.