Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I can't make this stuff up.....

First of all this is posted from my phone so I'm not sure what it will look like or how many mistakes it will have but oh well.  The way things are going around my house I can't be sure when I will have my computer back.  So, you guys might remember the leak we had in our house that messed up our front office. Or, you actually may not since it has been so long ago. Basically, the whole room had to be gutted and we were told it wouldn't take too much time to fix. Well, as of today I have walls that are built again but no paint, trim, or molding.  That's not the major issue though...the major deal is the floors.  They had to put new hardwoods down and they were going to have to stain them. For those of you who have been in my house you know that my floors are different colors. We have one floor in the living room and the rest of our downstairs wood is another color. I thought since we were staining our office floors already it would be a perfect time to do the whole house.  Boy was I wrong.

We packed up and moved out last Thursday because once they start staining you can't walk on the floors. We were promised we could return Sunday. Looking back now that was always unrealistic because of drying time but we didn't know better.  Then everytime we checked on them Friday and Saturday not much progress was happening. We still believed their lies that they were about to get started because they always had believable excuses. Then on Sunday, my dad and I came by and no one was working and the two rooms they had stained looked awful!! I mean even I could see it.  We called our subcontractor and he acted surprised and assured us he would go by. Then he agreed it looked bad and told us he was bringing a new crew in on Monday and things would go much smoother. We gave him the benefit of the doubt and Monday a new crew did show up that seemed to know a lot more of what they were talking about.  They promised us they would not leave Monday until the stain was applied and perfect. So....imagine my surprise when I opened the door Tuesday and once again only one room was complete. This time, I didn't care about any excuses and we kindly (or not) told the subcontractor to pack up and leave.  We also found out the reason the first guy was fired was because he hung out at our house all night drinking. Awesome. I'm sure the neighbors are having a neighborhood meeting about us as I write this.

Needless to say we hired a very highly recommended stainer to come in this morning and already the professionalism is amazingly different. He gave us a realistic timeline (next Tuesday!!!) to be back home and has been on time so far today. Two major pluses.

Unfortunately we still have to deal with these contractors (not the floor guys!) to have our room finished because its already paid through insurance but other than that they will never step foot in our house again (its still up for debate whether or not I will).  I will put some pics on Facebook of the dust mess they have left us to deal with. They didn't cover ANYTHING before they sanded so my refrigerator, cabinets, furniture, lights, appliances everything has about 3 inches of dust on them. The new guy walked in today and said, well I can assure you we won't make a mess anything worse than this one.

So there you have it....pity party.....maybe. The truth....unfortunately. We have named this little project the flush heard round the world after the little girl and the flush that started it all.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Very Bitter

If you were around me at all when we were deciding to foster you know that one of my biggest reservations was the issue of sleep.  I knew I could adjust to a baby during the day but nighttime was what I was most afraid of.  I pride myself on the fact that I now have 2 kids who go to bed at night and generally leave me alone until the morning.  I mean, of course they have their rough nights here and there but for the most part they go to bed between 7:30 (Addy) and 8:00 (Trey) and we talk again in the morning.  Now, we didn't get to this spot without some bumps.  They were both terrible sleepers until they were a year old and when Trey graduated to a bed he would often bounce in our room at 5:00 ready to start his day.  However, I am proud to say that now we are good. 

Then entered little B.  I wasn't worried about colic, crankiness, spitting up, reflux....I was worried about getting a bad sleeper.  So that's exactly what I got!  I'm not saying the other things wouldn't have been miserable but you can ask J.O...I like my sleep at night.  I am not a napper.  Not because I don't want to, but just because I can't.  I have to be in my room, it has to be dark, and it has to be nighttime for me to fall asleep.  Addison can fall asleep anywhere and I envy that!  That being said, when it's time for bed I just want to sleep.  I knew having an infant would require some sleepless nights at first but I had honestly forgotten about the time period of crying for no reason in the middle of the night.  My kids really didn't do this too bad.  They woke up often but a quick paci or pat usually got them back down.  They might cry but only for a short bit.  B can cry for around 3 hours without giving it up.  He is also at the stage where he immediately flips to his back when he gets mad so then he screams louder.  You can flip him back to his belly numerous times but the second you do..he has flipped again.

So, the last few nights have been some of those fun nights and I have laid in bed very bitter.  I think all these wonderful thoughts of how we are trying so hard to do something good and so we should be rewarded with sleep.  Yes, I know that makes me a super selfish person but you would be surprised your thoughts when you're so tired.  I was thinking more thoughts along these lines when God brought to mind the Experiencing God study we completed last spring at church.  One of the authors talked about how his son went through a spell of not being able to sleep and he was so aggravated.  He would ask God every night why he wasn't being allowed to sleep and so forth.  Then, one night a friend called him because she knew he would be awake and he talked her out of committing suicide. 

As I was laying in bed thinking this I became so convicted.  How much time have I wasted over the past week being bitter and mumbling and groaning?  How petty have I sounded complaining over and over again about my lack of sleep?  Instead of laying in bed awake wishing B was asleep, or wishing he wasn't crying so loud, or wishing he wasn't so stubborn, I am going to commit to praying.  Don't get me wrong..I've been praying but my prayers have been "Please help this baby fall asleep," "Please help this baby give it up," "Please help me fall in such a deep sleep I don't hear him" (honesty here).  But now I want to pray for people I know, pray for his situation, pray for all the kids who are in foster care and anything else that comes to mind.  God is keeping me awake for a reason and I am determined not to miss the reason completely.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

My Past....

Do you know those people who haven't changed since high school?  You know, the ones who still look the same physically and act the exact same as well?  I however, am not one of those people.  Unfortuntaely for me there are people who probably remember me one way in high school, one way in college, and friends who know only the me now. 

I went out to dinner the other night with some college friends (and 2 high school + college friends) and started thinking about this.  A couple of girls said they read my blog and we actually started talking about how different I am now then when they knew me in college.  You see, in college, life was a party (sorry mom).  I knew my reason for being there was to finish school but I also enjoyed the ride along the way.  I was more worried about what I was wearing that night to whatever sorority function we had or fraternity house we might visit than what people saw in me.  I did visit the University Church some but only when I wasn't too tired.  The conditions had to be just right...early night in, no test to cram for, and clean clothes.  Any little excuse could keep me away.  Sad but true.

That got me thinking...I remember growing up and adults telling me "don't make the same mistakes I did", "actions speak louder than words", etc...  I remember thinking that all these adults turned out okay so it will be fine for me too.  Everyone needs to live their life and have a good time....

However, now I have so many regrets.  There are so many times that I hate the fact that people who only knew me in college have such a different view of me.  It's part of the reason that it's so hard for me to take praise on here for what we are doing.  A part of me just thinks...if only you knew the real me!!  That's when I have to be grateful for a loving and forgiving God.  One who doesn't remember my past sin because it's been forgotten.  When I start to beat myself up about things I have done in the past I can't help but think how happy that makes the devil.

We all have a past.  Some more colorful than others but a past nevertheless.  It's what we learn and do with our past that matters.  I hope my kids make better choices than I did in their college years but if they don't, I hope they learn from their mistakes and figure out how to move past them.  I have absolutely no doubt that my past allows people who knew me then (and who know me now) to understand that God is truly working through an extremely ordinary, sinful person. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Summer Guilt....

I had this written out a week ago to post but that's when our leak happened and everything with B so my posts changed.  This one is actually perfect for right now but some of the time frame is different...if that makes any sense! :)

Time?  Where does it go and how does it have the ability to make us feel so guilty?  I have never been in the position I am in now and so this post may seem weird to some people but with school approaching I still have "summer guilt." 

Last summer I was heading into a new grade so I spent a lot of the summer planning, buying, thinking and being stressed.  Then, when school started I was upset because I felt like I never really had a break and the kids didn't have the summer they deserve.  The summer before that I was preparing to start at AB so it was much of the same, the summer before that I was finishing school and starting a job in Cabot so much of the get my drift.  This summer however, was going to be different.  There was no classroom prep so we were going to do all the fun things you see people on pinterest doing.  I made a short little list on my phone and got ready to check things off.  Only, not much of anything has been checked off.  These are simple things people...I'm talking about things like taking the kids to eat yogurt.  The most ambitious thing on there was to make a pine cone bird feeder for the back yard.  However, I'm not even sure I can find pine cones this time of year??  Needless to say, the summer of the stay-at-home mom looked much like the summer of the teaching mom just with less teaching.  Make sense?

That got me thinking...when does it slow down?  Does it ever slow down?  Most people would say no but why?  This morning Rachel and I were talking on our run about the summers we had growing up (yes, that officially makes us old) and they were restful, quiet and LONG.  Now, I feel like they are spent running errands, cleaning, working (whether at home or out of the home), appointments and so forth.  You blink and it's gone.

On top of "summer guilt", I also have a new type of guilt....a guilt watching all my friends return to work and I'm not.  It's hard to explain or understand.  Then, I started thinking....I have started inventing new kinds of guilt in my head!!  Instead of resting in being where the Lord has me in this season of my life, I am finding ways to be uneasy.  The fact is, yes the summer has flown by but in reality my kids have had an excellent summer and have loved it.  Yes, my friends are returning to work and I have a mixture of emotions but we are all right where God wants us. 

Yesterday morning in Sunday School we talked about the verse in Ecclesiastes about time..."For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven......"  (3:1-8).  I may not have made bird feeders with my kids this summer (and seriously...I do realize this is probably a fall activity) but there is a time for every matter under Heaven.  I'm not sure if that speaks to anyone else but it definitely spoke to me.