Thursday, April 23, 2015

Me and Michelle Duggar......

Wow.  It has once again been awhile.  I know you have all been on pins and needles waiting on the latest post.  Rest assured's here.

A lot has been going on so I thought I would do a general post filling people in and then next year, when I get to it, post about the details.

We are, once again, taking placements.  After the first temporary placement we realized we could continue to help out on a short term basis so that is exactly what we are doing.  Short term.  So, don't worry about the baby who was going to spend one night with us and is currently upstairs asleep in her room.  Also, don't tell J. O., but I kinda love her a lot.  Don't get me wrong, our family is complete, but who's to say we can't have a tiny tagalong for awhile.  Addison told me the other night she thought this would be the "missest" baby since baby B.  I agree, Addison.

Remember a while back when I jokingly said that we would have to pick our favorite to send to private school and Trey was in the running?  This just in....he won.  Next year, we have decided to give homeschooling a go with Addison.  Now, before you tune me out and have a mental picture of me sitting around knitting knee length skirts and adding in 19 Kids and Counting as a part of our curriculum, hear me out.  I have NEVER been good about actually listening to my kids.  What do they know anyway?  They are here to be my robots and then one day grow up to be adult robots who treat their kids like robots too.  Right?  Well, somewhere along the way I realized I shouldn't just blow off everything they say.  So, when Addison asked me for the 400th time (since K4) to homeschool, I actually sat her down and talked to her about it.  It was kinda weird and strangely grown up.  She gave me her reasons, I gave her mine for not wanting to, and we both committed it to prayer.  And we did.  I heard her pray about it and I did too.

Fast forward a few months and J. O. and I were talking one morning and much like our fostering decision, we decided we were all on the same page and would give it a go.  I would be lying if I said I wouldn't much rather pay someone else to educate my child.  However, Addison marches to the beat of her own drum and she thrives in a home setting with her mother.  It can absolutely wear me out, but that's why I have also signed her up for other things two days a week.

Now before people jump to conclusions and talk about me behind my back (I mean, I know it has already happened but still....), let me throw out some myths....we aren't doing this to save a buck so I can continue to stay home.  Would that be wrong??  Absolutely not, but it's not our motive.  We always planned to send both of them to AB next year and had it budgeted fine.  We knew we had a couple more years before decisions needed to be made on the little girls and whether or not to have four in private school.  We had decided, when that time came, we would evaluate the best needs for everyone and make decisions then.

I also fully know this will be much harder than either of us realize.  I think people almost enjoy when people give homeschooling a go, and then end up returning to school.  What, you mean teaching my child who thinks she knows more than I do and doesn't learn as naturally as her brother won't be easy?  Shocking.  There is no pride here....I fully anticipate we might be back to school in December and if there is no spot she may be the first to give different schools a try.

In short, our life is still nothing like I thought it would be.  I haven't worn nice clothes in a month, my daily phone conversations with friends usually start with...."who is your caseworker this time", the other day when I saw a child strike out in baseball and then throw his helmet and bat repeatedly, I had sincere sympathy for his family and absolutely no ounce of judgment, when people say they are going to homeschool next year I no longer inwardly think 'pure craziness'.

God is continually changing my plan.  My plan was for the kids to stay put, I would return to work (hopefully part time) when they were all 4 in school and life would settle....and who knows....this still may be the plan eventually!  However, one thing I have learned is that even though I am nervous and slightly hesitant about this new path, it will be better than I could have ever imagined.  Hard....yes.  Frustrating....yes.  Duggarish....yes.  But... if there is one thing I have learned from fostering, it's that I would rather live in the plan God has for me and it be hard, than constantly running from what He would have me to do.

Now....let the jokes begin friends.  I can take it....