Monday, August 31, 2015

Boy Mom.....I am not....

Tonight, I want to give major props to all you boy moms out there.  Kellie, you come to mind immediately.  You handle boys with a mixture of toughness and grace that I just don't have.  Suzanne, you also come to mind.  You have taught your boys to make their own lunch since they started pre-k. They come over to my house and have impeccable manners and don't nag you at every turn.  You are also the one who warned me that 9 would be the year of the hormone.

From here on out, I can only refer to it as 'the hormone'.

This post has little to do about adopting/fostering but a lot to do about my own inadequacies at raising a boy.  Today, Addison actually told me these things..."That I was taking away her soul, I had no idea how she felt, she was teaching me tomorrow, I couldn't enforce time out anymore (she soon saw otherwise) and that I was no longer cool."  I took all with a grain of salt and literally cried laughing at some.  I get her.  She is me.  She is strong willed, smart aleck, witty, funny and will not be run over.  I love it.  And her.  She's my new favorite right now.

Enter Trey.  Oh. My. Goodness.  He is in a whole new era and he is like a foreign creature.  I look at him and I see a green alien.  He cries at the drop of a hat.  He has become a smart mouthed pre-teen at 9.  He forgets his school books.  Every. Single. Night.  He won't go to sleep.  Some small part of him wants to be rocked to sleep, but an even bigger part of him wants to distance himself.  He is jealous of the attention Addison is getting.  He is struggling with 4th grade.  He hates all the homework.  He loves football.  He isn't that great at football.  And so on and so on.

And I don't understand.  I don't get the crying.  The need to push.  The need to hit with pads on.  The smart aleck comments.  The loss of my little boy who lived to make everyone happy.

He is changing and it's tough.  We are keeping a 5 YO boy right now who is transitioning to an adoptive home.  This little boy has my heart but he has Trey's nerves.  Trey got in the car the other day and looked back and said...."he's still here?"  It broke my heart.  I mean, innocence is gone.  For the first time, Trey expressed his own feelings first.  This boy annoys him and he would like him moved please.  He is used to babies who cry and mommy or daddy change a diaper and the world is right again.  He is not used to kids who takes his toys, hit him, or demand my attention for school.

We had a long talk about orphans and he quickly changed his tune.  He learned more about his background and decided one of two options:  He either liked him, or he would pretend to like him because I am making him.

Basically, I am struggling.  I am struggling with the changes Trey is showing.  I am struggling with the loss of my 'go with the flow boy', I am struggling with my non diagnosed ADD child, I am struggling with 'the hormone', and for what it's worth I am just struggling.

Here is my one adoptive/fostering plug....if you don't do it because you are worried about how you will handle these kiddos, or how you will bond.....let me just end with this.....I ALWAYS feel more protective, more in tune, more 'mama bear' with my foster/adoptive kiddos.  I get them.  I can sympathize with them.  I can handle the crying.  And so forth and so forth.  If someone wants to come over and raise my bio boy....well, that would be great.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Politics and Religion.....

This post has zero to do with politics or religion, but I really figured people wouldn't know what to do if they saw something on Facebook that didn't have that in the title.  I mean, not to sound too old or anything but do you remember when Facebook was this....

Tamra Ward Norman is.....bored.
Tamra Ward Norman is.....feeling tired.

I mean, it basically gave you the option of filling in the blank.  Now, people truly think they can solve all disagreements on Facebook.  I am all for raising awareness and posting about things you believe in on there.  I mean, my posts are mostly about Foster Care/Orphan Awareness and Spark.  Things I am passionate about.  However, I know I can't just rant and rave about it and sit back and do nothing.  It's why we have 2 extra kiddos this week who are 1 and 2.  That's right...we currently have a 1, 2, 2, 3 and 9 year old (Addison is on vacay).  Fun times.  Don't just post and gripe.  Be quieter and do more.

Okay, totally not what I was going to write about......

We are starting a new journey this year with homeschooling and I have already learned a ton.  Don't worry....I won't take homeschooling on as my personal crusade too, but I do feel like I should pass on things I have learned so far.

Not all homeschool moms do it because they hate public school but can't afford private.  Sadly, I really figured this was the majority of people out there.  It may be a few, but by no means the majority.  Honestly, I am realizing most of these moms do it because they truly feel it's best for their child and they aren't afraid of taking it child by child/year by year.  They don't want to keep their child isolated and they aren't afraid of everyone.  They just want to do what they think is best.  These moms don't blink an eye when I say I have one at AB, one homeschooled and two at 2nd Presbyterian.

They are the most flexible people on schedules.  I am not.  I am trying.  If one curriculum doesn't work, they research another.  If a playdate comes up, they go and do schoolwork after dinner.  If their child wants to go to Texas for the week, even though they had planned to start school the same day as AB, they adjust (maybe...still looking at the big star on the calendar and taking deep breaths).  It's a learning process for me, but I am learning.  Now, the teacher in me will get the work done and it will be done well, but it most likely will not be done within the normal hours that I am used to.

This gets old to hear I know....but.....I actually had to decide what to do and cut out because there are literally programs for every day of the week.  Right now, I have her enrolled in Bible Study, Art Class, SEEK and Homeschool Academy.  And that just scratches the surface.  I have had to say no repeatedly on various activities because like it or not....we need to be at home some.

It can be as expensive or as inexpensive as you make it.  I need some time off so I am paying for SEEK and Academy because I need someone else to teach her Science and I need her to have a day in a classroom setting at the Academy.  I will say though, compared to private's a breeze.

In short.....we are still excited, she is still excited, we are still taking it on a yearly basis and I am doing it for no other reason than, Addison begged and we felt God saying it was the right move.

That's it for now.  Now please.....someone go save the world with a lengthly Facebook post.