Sunshine and Rainbows

On my last blog post about adopting, I made a comment about this journey not being all sunshine and rainbows.  But then I filled your Facebook feed yesterday with picture perfect pictures and smiling faces of a little baby who was adopted as an infant and came to us from the hospital.  So I have felt this burden to make sure as an advocate for these kids, I clear up a few things.

• We will begin our 7th year of fostering in May and out of 20+ kids there have been 5 total that have gone up for adoption.  Our girls, Henry, and 2 others.  5.  Let that number sink in.
• In 6 years of fostering we have only brought 2 babies straight home from the hospital at birth.  Henry, and one who only spent one night with us.  Our first placement was 4 weeks old.  Still a newborn but not straight from the hospital.
• The majority of our kids have reunified with family members or parents.
• Henry is number 7 and there's been one born recently.  He has a half sister who went to live with her father, 5 half siblings (these 5 have the same mom and dad) who are in an adoptive placement, and 1 born in December who is currently in the care of birth family.
• Henry was on track to leave us and go with his birth dad.  His case was kept completely separate because termination had already happened on the others and reunification with his father was the plan.  I  had actually built a good relationship with dad so I could help out after he left.  
• I couldn't send him to daycare for the first 8-9 months.  Like it was court and doctor ordered because he was too fragile.  This meant I worked, had 4 other kids, and had to work out his schedule as well.
• Henry was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  FAS is currently a leading diagnosis only behind autism.  So I decided instead of keeping this as some dark and dirty secret, awareness is key.

Why do I tell you all of this?  

• Because bringing a newborn home from the hospital and adopting them a year later is not the norm.  
• Because if you foster to eventually adopt a newborn, you may get tired of waiting.  I would've waited for almost 7 years and let me tell you something...when you are fostering just to hopefully get a newborn you can keep, you won't make it 7 years.  
• Because sometimes all we get are the pretty pictures on Facebook and we don't get the real picture behind them.

Am I thrilled Henry is a part of our family?  Absolutely!!  Do I foster babies/kids in the hopes they will stay with us forever?  Absolutely not.  That's called adoption.  And there is a huge need for adoption with older kids and sibling groups.  We choose to foster, pray for reunification, and pray for restoration in families.  And most of the time, that is exactly what happens.  

Surprise! It's a Boy......

We are officially adopting again.  Next week in fact....

I would love to say it's been a quick and easy 9 months type pregnancy, but that would be a lie.  It has been anything but easy and nothing with the state is ever quick.  However, the time has officially come.  Next week we will make it official on paper to raise, love, support, and empower this little guy the best we know how.

On New Years Eve 2017, we got the phone call asking if we would take a 10 day old baby leaving the NICU.  In true Christian fashion I was hesitant because I LOVE sleep.  Like, I look forward to getting back into my bed as soon as I leave it.  And newborns do not sleep.  Not to mention, our teenager with her baby had only recently left so we just needed a hot minute to recoup.  But, as often happens, my no turned to yes and I agreed to take this 4 lb tiny thing.  J.O. was out of town on a ski trip with the 2 oldest, so I figured this would serve as a nice welcome home present.

Well, the baby became critically ill before he was released and began a month long NICU stay from New Years Eve until January 22nd.  We visited him during this time and I remember thinking then, man this is going to be hard to let him go.  But, as only foster parents can do, I shifted my mindset each week and started slowly building a small relationship with his biological father.  We began the all too familiar dance of parenting him while preparing to hand him over.

In the fall of last year circumstances changed, and we began the shift from foster parents to forever parents.  We didn't officially finish paperwork until December and decided we would let the world know when there was a date on paper.

This little guy is a miracle.  You may not ever know what all he has already had to overcome just to be with us today.  If you are ever struggling with your faith, come read his adoption file.  The day he was almost discharged to us he had to be able to sit in a carseat for 60 minutes without his respiratory rate going down.  He made it 57 minutes and it tanked so the doctor wouldn't release him.  Overnight, they discovered he had a critical intestinal issue and the nurse told us he wouldn't have survived at our house throughout the night.  And this only scratches the surface of his amazing journey.

Now, don't get me wrong.  This journey has not been all sunshine and rainbows.  In fact, we still aren't certain about a lot with his future, but one thing I know is this.  The same God that protected him from being released too early from the hospital, is the same God today.  He literally plucked him out of a situation meant for bad, and we will spend our lives helping it be worked for good.

Do we adopt because we have this overwhelming desire for tons of kids?  Um no.  Do we adopt because a loving and Holy God once saw our overwhelming situation of sin and picked us up, dusted us off, and called us His own.  Absolutely.

It's not easy.  Man it's not easy.  My social life is non existent, I (sometimes) text people on the phone instead of seeing them, and most days I am very sympathetic to moms who hide and eat chocolate or drink, but it is so very worth it.

So get ready to see lots of pics of the cutest boy (alongside Trey) you ever will meet.  And just know that what those pictures don't tell, is there is a lot of fight in that tiny little body.  And we want you to know this sweet boy....your mom and dad have a lot of fight too and we will make it our mission to go before you every step of the way.