One day, I am going to perfect the art of saying "NO." I'm not going to say it in a mean way, or stomp my foot when I do it like a certain, stubborn child I know, but I'm going to learn to use it nonetheless. I am going to learn to be good at a few things, instead of scattered in a million things. I am going to learn to give all of myself to a few people, instead of a little bit to a ton of people.
Now, don't get me wrong….I am not one of those people who has to be the craftiest or the best. Valentines boxes don't stress me out nor do Valentines treats or crafts. I am perfectly fine letting my kids do what they want and being done. Addison wanted sticker hearts on hers and truthfully she didn't really want to deal with doing that, so she just put a few and called it done. Trey has the desire for a huge basketball goal but honestly, he doesn't have the skills to do it and nor do I, so right now it's got green paper on it. That kind of thing I am okay with.
However, the other day I heard someone say that one day we will realize we had it all wrong. We will wish we spent more time with our family and less time at work, etc. My first thought was "oh, I hope J. O. just heard that" and then I realized that was completely directed to me. No, I don't have an 8-5 job this year, but oh my goodness I have turned into one of those people. You know…one of those people who run ragged trying to do all the things they think they should. I actually like being my kids room mom. I actually don't mind organizing things for the class. However, my problem is trying to fill in the gap when there are things left to be done. It's not my job to fill in every blank line on the sign up sheet. It's not my job to make sure there are 10 different toppings to choose from at the Ice Cream Party. Honestly, these kids could care less. It's me who cares. It's me who worries people will think I didn't do a good job. It's me who has the "just say no" problem.
God called me to quit my job. He did that for a reason. One of the biggest was because we were going to enter a life filled with foster kids. Another reason though was because our life was not going in a direction that was good for our family. We were too busy and never together. I ran home after work each day and the rat race started. The problem is nothing has changed. We are just as busy but with less income if you want to know the truth!
I hope to slowly learn the art of saying no. Who knows….maybe next year I will be room mom but will not sign up to bring an item. Crazy. Or maybe, I won't feel the need to be on cafeteria duty (which I have backed away from) or maybe I won't attend all the field trips, or maybe I will truly limit my kids to one activity at a time, or maybe I will actually clean my house.
Lots of things I am going to hopefully do, but one thing I am not going to do is feel guilty for saying no. We all have our limits. I know sometimes as a "stay at home" mom I can try to rationalize doing it all because I have a strange guilt for saying no when I don't have a legitimate reason. However, this is not at all how God intended for us to live. Whether I work, stay home, work from home or whatever I do, I still have a feeling I am missing the bigger plan.