Monday, July 20, 2015

I know how it sounds.....

Dear public:

When I thank my child for throwing a stuffed animal at me instead of hitting me....I know how it sounds.

When I tell my child, "good job" when she screams and simply puts her mouth on my shoulder instead of biting me....I know how it sounds.

When I tell my child, in a very public restaurant, that I know she needs to smell her chair first, but it's dirty so don't put her mouth on it....I know how it sounds.

When I give a noncommittal "uh-huh" when people say how normal she is/looks/acts, etc....I know how it sounds.

When I find out my child hit in MDO or at the gym and instead of disciplining or making threats of discipling, I ask first if the child touched her....I know how it sounds.

When she pushes down a baby, and hurts the baby, because they touched her 'space' and I tell her I know that made her nervous before I address the behavior.....I know how it sounds.

When everyone else sees the absolute best of her because she saves it all for home and for me....I know how it sounds.

When I sound like a broken record explaining her behavior over and over to therapists....I know how it sounds.

When I tell people J.O. and I are getting away, yet again, for another mini vacay or night out.... I know how it sounds.

I get it.  I've been the parent on the watching end before thinking "there's nothing wrong", "they are blowing this way out of proportion," "they seem so 'normal'," "their kid is so smart," and so on and so on.

So, just know.....I know how it sounds.  I know I am now labeled by some as "that" mom.  The mom of a child who is simply a discipline problem in a lot of classes.  The mom of a child who would still be fine to leave with the nearest stranger.  The mom of a child who has such anxiety that when she hears the door open at 5am, she runs out yelling, "daddy left me."  The mom of a child who makes everyone feel so special because everyone is her best friend.  I get it.

Truth is, I know how it sounds, but I have no idea how it feels.  And I doubt you do either.

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