Wednesday, February 27, 2019

On the Other Side......

Last Saturday, Annalise got hurt and it happened so fast I didn't even realize she was hurt.  Her and Grace were playing and she slipped and fell and was bleeding pretty badly.  When it first happened, I really thought they were fighting, so I came ready to tell them to calm down and work it out.

However, the closer I came the more I realized these were screams of pain.  I quickly handed off the baby to Addison and Trey and called a friend to come over so I could take Anna to be checked out.

After she got out of surgery we found out the extent of her injuries.  We were honestly looked at quite suspiciously because it was such a "freak" accident. Like, case study type injury.

The next morning I was in our room and I heard someone mention having the social worker come check us out to make sure everything was okay.  My heart dropped.  I knew what it looked like to have someone prying in your life and it was nothing I wanted to be a part of.

Long story short, we were actually cleared after we spoke with another surgeon and they never called social work, but the reality is there are several reasons for this.

Reason #1:  I could communicate clearly what happened and my 7 year old could communicate clearly as well.  She is smart, articulate, and calm.  She was under a lot of stress, but she is my kid who handles everything like a boss.  Our stories were the truth and matched.

Reason #2:  I had a big support group there.  My parents were in and out, J.O.'s mom, my friends, and pastors from my church.

Reason #3: We are middle class Caucasians.  Don't like this one, that's fine. But it's true.

The bottom line is, we did nothing wrong.  This was truly a once in a lifetime, landing a certain way, hitting a toy just right, slipping, type injury.

Most of the time, parents who have their children taken into care have some part of their story that doesn't add up.  Maybe the child was home alone and shouldn't have been.  Maybe the mom had been drinking and was too scared to admit it.  Maybe someone was in the home they know shouldn't have been there.  There are a lot of factors that play into things.

But one thing I know is's an unnerving feeling when you think someone with power may not believe you.

Which is the reason I am even writing this post.   Who can we extend grace to today?  Maybe you are adoptive parents and it's your child's birth parents.  Maybe they aren't the "big, bad wolf" we have in our mind.  Maybe you have some kids in your school or church and the difference of a big support system would make a world of change.  Maybe you are just reading this and thinking "Tamra should watch her kids closer."  And may be right.

Who can you root for today that given the same situation, might have had a different outcome?

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