Monday, December 21, 2015

Changes once again......

Growing up, I lived in the same house from birth until I moved out, and attended the same school K-12th grade.  Nothing much changed.  Ever.  I remember when we had kids, I told J. O. I didn't want to move around to different schools once they started.  I wanted them to remain constant, stable and secure.

I really think that control is still one of my biggest issues.  I know that may surprise some people because in fostering you really have no control.  You never know how long a child will stay, when they will arrive, when visits will be and so forth.  It's a constant state of unknown.  With fostering, I have been able to wrap my mind around the fact that it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with just being there for the child.  We no longer stress about "we had planned to go out to eat tonight, but DHS called...." or "Addison has a birthday party Saturday, but DHS called..."  None of that matters anymore and I mean it!  We are very go with the flow on that.  

That leads me to school.  I LOVE homeschooling Addison.  I really do.  She's so flexible, a great errand runner, even better shopper, and she's efficient.  She sits down, gets to work and we are done.  That's not to say we don't have our days.  There are times she's rolling in the floor and won't listen, or runs off for a snack in the middle of phonics, but for the most part it works great.  She is becoming more confident in school and has made a huge friend group.  It's been ideal.

Enter Trey.  Trey drives me bonkers.  He can't focus to eat breakfast, put his socks on, locate lunch boxes or water bottles, and he is often running 5 steps behind.  He lacks every bit of efficiency I have.  And, he has decided he wants to give homeschooling 'a try' as he puts it.  To be honest, this year has been hard for him.  He sees his sister be carefree every day after school and he is doing homework.  He hears about us running to different places and naturally, since she is the only one with me, she often gets a Sonic drink, or new book, etc.  Trey is so laid back, but for the first time I have noticed jealousy and almost resentment from him since the beginning of the year.  So, he started saying he wanted to try it for 5th grade.  That's where J. O. and I had to make some hard decisions.  I knew he couldn't just do it for a month or two at the beginning of the year, because having been a teacher myself, that is too hard on everyone.  So, we sat down and talked to him and told him if he really wanted to do it, he had to do it after Christmas break.  This way, he would know whether or not to start 5th grade back at traditional school or at home.  He was very nervous and thought about it for awhile, but then agreed.  

I am going rogue with Trey.  He is doing a totally different curriculum and starting brand new.  He went and looked at the program and when I picked him up, he said his favorite thing was that he knew nothing.  He loved the fact that it was all brand new information.  

I have no idea what to expect.  I am sending him (and Addison) to a place on Monday that teaches them and lays out their work for the week.  I am hoping this will be better for him to have some direction during the week and know what is expected of him.

People ask if I am sad to not be returning, and the truth is....I'm really not.  I think this is the right time for everyone.  It's more strange than anything else.  Trey is sad to not be with his friends everyday, but thankfully he is still playing basketball and knows a ton of kids who go to the places he will go on Monday and Thursday.  I think I am more scared Trey won't like it and it will be a long semester until summer.  Or that he will love it, and then I will suddenly find myself responsible for the education of two kids.

One thing I know for sure is that I will take one day at a time, and relish a semester of not worrying about signing a red notebook!! :) 

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