Well, it's here. Our Adoption Eve. Our adoption is scheduled for tomorrow at 9:30 and we couldn't be more ready. However, today, I have been amazed at the emotions I am feeling. I am a ball of nerves and I can't figure out why! It's kinda like that feeling when you are about to bring a baby home from the hospital and you can't remember if you have gotten it all done? Only, my babies have been here since Dec 17th, 2013. There isn't a crib to assemble, a carseat to check, baby bag to pack. No, we are meeting at the courthouse and signing papers, taking pics, flooding Facebook and coming home.
But, I am nervous. Don't misunderstand me. I am not nervous about adopting our girls. They have been our girls from the minute God decided to entrust them to us. However, what I am anxious about is exactly what God tells us NOT to be anxious about.
I'm nervous about:
The hearing (what if it's canceled, moved or running too late and we can't make brunch....I like to eat).
The mixture of families that will be there because of sibling hearing.
The baby books I haven't purchased and the newborn pics I won't have to go in them once I do.
The rooms that are not decorated or completed and the guilt I have from that.
The feeling that I should have some super cute book on hand to read as the girls get older to help them understand how they came into our family?
You see the difference??
Our lives forever changed when every single detail was worked out for us to be able to adopt the girls. There were so many roadblocks that we could've faced that never even surfaced. I read other scenarios and wonder how ours turned out the way it did.
The truth is, God has it all. Big, small, important, seemingly not-important. He has this. I may not have some fancy sign to take pictures with tomorrow at court, or some amazing baby book, or a room that looks like I have been preparing for this day for years (and I am not knocking you people who do...I'm just not there)....
But what I do have, is a God who has once again gone before me. Tomorrow is not a surprise to Him and tomorrow our lives will forever change. We will be coming home with our own personal version of twins and that is worth celebrating!