Friday, May 9, 2014

This Mothers Day.....

Last year on Mothers Day I spoke at church about what God was doing in our life.  It was pre baby B, pre 'Anna' and pre 'Abby'.  It was pre mom #1 who didn't even realize I was a foster parent to her child because she was so mentally ill and no one cared enough to commit her.  It was pre mom #2 who desperately wanted a second chance but didn't know any other way but to lie, run, and make terrible decisions.  It was before so many new friends entered my life on this journey and so many old ones came back in my life.  It was before I got texts about kids being rocked in a hospital rocking chair waiting to be released.  It was before I attended conferences, brunches, lunches, etc with rooms full of moms that might cry if you simply ask them what's new.  It was before I went to walks with tons of people and none of the families were of the same race.  Basically it was before I thought of Mothers Day as anything other than my own personal experience.  Which, to be honest, is so far from what real life is like it's not even funny.

My mom raised me completely different than most of these kids have been raised.  However, that stems from her being raised by a mother and father in a completely different manner as well.  Like I said, Mothers Day has always been a day I recognize my mom.  My sister and I usually split a present and in the past I have cooked lunch for her and we hang out and that's about it.  It's not that I don't appreciate or recognize my mom, but I just had no other life experiences to compare it to.

The past year makes me realize that Mothers Day is also a difficult day.  It's a day where 2 little girls will call me mommy and mama and in reality, at this present time, who their mom will be is up in the air.  Yes, I am mom 'for right now'....but my role is limited.  They have a mom who has been defeated and given up and is no longer around.  On Sunday, when I am giving my mom a card and eating a good lunch, my sister is doing the same, J. O. is doing the same and most likely you are either doing the same or thinking about your mom who was amazing, think about these girls.  Think about 'Anna' who goes up to strangers and her teachers at school and pats my leg and says...."mommy" over and over until someone says "yes I know..."  At 2 she is trying to validate the fact that in her world, I am her mommy.  Think about the children in group homes or shelters who have no one to even call mom.  Think about these moms that are on the other end of the spectrum and away from their children.  Yes, it's most likely because of mistakes they have made, but you can't tell me they aren't longing for them.  On Sunday, my children will celebrate me, our church will recognize Mothers, the world in general will recognize that the world is a better place because of Moms.  And we will have 2 kids in our home who aren't sure who their forever mom will be.  Pray for all these kids this Mothers Day!!


  1. I'm also a foster parent and you have summed up how I feel about Mother's Day so well. I think of the birth moms all the time and my heart breaks for them and their (our) children.
    Happy Mother's Day to you and all the mothers in your life.