Apparently the week we were in Disney World, the video I missed in Bible Study had some discussion about staying in your own lane. Beth Moore gave an example of a special needs child who won a medal for a race that he came in last place for. When the mom asked how he won she was told that he was the only child who stayed in his lane. Then Beth Moore went on to discuss how we often tend to veer out of our lanes at times and into other peoples.
Well, as I read through that, I honestly didn't think too much about it. I've got my lane down pat and pretty much don't need to get into yours or anyone else's. And then God smiled at me and my ignorance. I realized, I am often like a football player who is bobbing and weaving all over the place. A couple of months ago J. O. and I were praying about something that I realize looking back was totally from me and not from God. I was praying about this because quite honestly I figured if "so and so could do it…so could I." I was looking at other people and what they were doing and trying to figure out a way to get over to the lane they were in. I thought my situation should look more like theirs.
How often do we do that? Jobs, marriages, hobbies, etc. I have realized that the times I am completely overwhelmed and feeling insecure is because I am trying to do what everyone is doing and not just what God has called me to do. I can get so bogged down with what the future holds for our family and what it will look like. However, in those moments instead of praying about it and realizing we are right where we are supposed to be, I start comparing lanes. Well, so and so has 2 bio kids and 4 foster kids and she seems to be doing great. I need to shape up and start doing more of what she does because in reality I am not doing much at all. Or, I should really get involved with that hobby. So and so does that and loves it and it looks like a lot of fun. And so forth and so forth.
I can become so overwhelmed by looking all around me and what everyone else is doing that I completely lose my focus. It goes back to the fact that everyone has a special talent or gift and sometimes it hurts our pride to realize that might not be ours. Right now I just need to focus on the lane that God has me in, and even if it seems like everyone around me is moving forward and passing me by, I am right where I need to be.