Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Amazed

First of all I know every post has been about things we are dealing with lately at home but it really just seems to be where we are right now!  I truly can't make this stuff up.  However, this one is more about how God takes things that seem so bad and works it all for good.

Yesterday we got the work started to fix the damage from our water leak.  It turned out to be a much bigger deal than I anticipated because the front room that was affected was pretty contaminated with lots of sewer water.  They had to rip down the ceiling, walls and take out the floor so it's basically rebuilding a room from scratch.  I honestly have been completely okay with that.  I'm too indecisive to ever build a house so maybe this is God's way of letting me "build" a room. (I'm already trying to decide whether to paint it the same color as my whole house or change it up??  So many decisions....)

Anyway, that was going on and it was loud and dusty but overall not a big deal.  Then we got a call from B's caseworker and his mom had made a claim that may or may not be true.  However, it was a major claim and it could majorly affect B.  So, I had to take B yesterday afternoon to have a test run and I was in such turmoil yesterday I could hardly stand it.  The test was supposed to take 24-48 hours and I just wasn't sure I could make it until Thursday afternoon.  I tried to tell the "sweet" lady at the lab that we needed it sooner but she just growled at me and I was close to tears anyway so I got quiet.  All afternoon I played scenario after scenario over and over in my head and just had no peace. 

Then J.O. came home and although he was nervous he just said, "I can't imagine God would have brought us this far only to take us down this path."  I decided to quit thinking so negative and start claiming that promise.  I changed my prayer to a complete prayer of acknowledgment that God is in control and the outcome would be favorable.  I then focused on praying for early test results.  I prayed that by some miracle I would know before DHS came out at 3:00 so that I could focus on that visit while they were there.  I prayed that a nurse would call me and not the doctor so I would know immediately it was okay. 

This morning I was still nervous but I had such a better peace that everything would be okay.  I knew that the same God who brought us B was still in control today.  I just wanted those results quickly!! 

Well wouldn't you know my phone rang about 1:45 and when I answered it was a nurse at the clinic.  Relief flooded over me and we got the results we wanted to hear.  Everything was going to be just fine.  I called B's caseworker and as I was talking to her I realized why God allowed this to happen.  I can't really say much but it's very clear to me that my discomfort from 10:15 Tuesday morning until 1:45 Wednesday afternoon was for a much bigger picture than I could have ever seen. 

I will be honest...this one really shook me and had me yelling "enough".  I didn't handle this well at all at first and I'm ashamed at the lack of faith I had that God would see it through.  However, I am thankful that once again, God saw us through and never gave up on me.  He cared enough to send me a phone call at 1:45 when in reality I still shouldn't know.  He cares enough about B to help him hopefully be settled sooner.  When I hung up the phone (I was in my car) the song, "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger" was playing on the radio and I just lost it.  It's so hard for me to grasp sometimes how much He truly cares. 

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