Friday, May 17, 2013

Sheer Terror....

Yes, I realize this title is probably a bit dramatic but hey, why not.  Last week was Mothers Day and it was fabulous.  I got up early to go meet Rachel for a run like I do most Sundays (Heather was out of town) and when I got home the kids were waiting with my gifts.  They were so excited and I have to admit one of my gifts made me cry from laughing so hard.  It may or may not have been a Justin Timberlake CD.  A girl has to hold on to a few guilty pleasures right??

Anyway, several weeks ago Rachel and I went to meet with our associate pastor about promoting the Walk for the Waiting.  Literally, that's the only reason we went.  However, imagine my surprise when we sat down and he told us he was planning a different type of Mother's Day service and wanted to talk about some of the local orphans.  He is starting a new series and the first one was based on the Dr. Seuss book (not really written by him) "Are you my Mother?"  He wanted to have an "expert" in the field talk and then a personal experience from our own church.  I got so excited and told him that would be a really great idea.  Then I just sat there and realized he was staring at me.  Now let me just say, my first degree is Communications so I have done my fair share of speeches and I was actually okay at it.  However, in my adult life fear grips me like crazy at random times if I think I may have to talk.  I mean, there have been times I am so nervous in Chapel at school at the thought of being called on to pray.  Completely crazy I know, but still. 

So...I realized Jonathan was staring at me and waiting for me to respond.  The very unfortunate thing that happened next was I remembered what we had just studied in Experiencing God.  We learned that if God has done something big in your life it's disobedience not to share.  It's our job to tell others.  With that in mind I told him I would do it and then just planned to walk very slowly in front of a bus sometime between now and then.  Totally kidding...I wasn't that scared....maybe. 

Let me just say that the 2 weeks went by so extremely fast.  I mean, I don't think I have ever experienced time move so quickly.  I think the worst part though was sitting through the morning service waiting to be called to come up.  I would get so nervous and then calm down, then I would want to run and then it would be okay.  This continued for 40 minutes until I went forward to share.  I have to say though that when you are doing something that is from God and you know 100% that you are supposed to share your testimony it will happen.  The day before I had prayed that God would give me the words to "wrap" up my testimony because I just couldn't figure out how to end it.  Not an hour later I came across something I had written down and realized it was a verse God wanted me to use for some reason.  When I stood up front I was still nervous for sure.  But I wasn't that hyperventilating nervous that makes you sound more like you are crying than talking.  It all came out correct and there were even moments that I felt kinda calm.....well, as long as I was standing on one leg.  For some reason my right leg chose that moment to spasm and I looked pretty ridiculous. 

All that to say this...I am not signing up for any conferences anytime soon but I think it's pretty amazing when God puts something in front of you that is such a "God thing".  If you would have told me a year ago I would be speaking in front of our church I would have called you crazy.  However, there are lots of things I am doing now I wouldn't have pictured myself doing a year ago!!

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